Unchained Melody

The first snow is in the air now as I look out my window, and I am quiet and full of thoughts. Yesterday a friend of mine was taken to hospital. I was worried that she was having a stroke, just as she had a massive stroke years ago from a brain tumor. She has struggled her way back, she is smart, she probably knows every song ever written and who it was that wrote it. I know now that she is alright, that she has come out fighting again. The scare, however, has caused me to reflect on many things. Sometimes I don’t understand what this life means, many times I don’t. We fight and we fight. Why? What is it in us that keeps us going? I have seen so much, and I am not really old yet as life is measured these days. I seem to know everything, and nothing. People have so much value – I see so much value, so much grief, so much toughness. We are all connected, all of us. We need to understand this.

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I Sing To The Stars

“I am nobody. Are you nobody too?”
Emily Dickinson

I have not posted in this blog very often lately. I have many ideas that are forming themselves in my mind, but I am not getting them down on paper (virtual paper, that is).

I am battling so with my physical self that sometimes I don’t even recognize who I am anymore. I wake up many mornings and cry at the thought of struggling through another day. Then I get up and put one foot in front of the other and do it anyway. It is not normally in my nature to feel sorry for myself, but the temptation is there. I don’t know where I am finding my strength, but it is there somewhere deep inside me, even though my physical strength is now a frail thing, needing to be babied along, put down for naps.

I have people around me who care about me. I find moments of pleasure in talking with others, in singing, reading poetry, learning more all the time about myself and about the universe around me. For this moment, that needs to be enough.

“I sing to the stars who enlighten
my all-encompassing darkness…”